If it came easy, everyone would do it.

Robert Townsend

The truth about screenwriting is there will be tons of ideas every single day. As I continued to write my precious scripts (including my zombie pilot), I had to shift my focus to short movies. I found it’s more complicated than I ever imagined.

While I continued to submit scripts to Coverfly, I came up with the idea of a twenty-minute movie script. The mission was to use whatever is there just to make something special. The focus was on dialogue and delivery from characters with it being a low-budget venture.

The covid-19 pandemic closed in on us and it went past the September 23rd deadline. It was a huge blow to the pride and what followed next was my worst nightmare.

Trying to find a day job again while dealing with a whole lot of uncertainty financially added to the stress. Sometimes I was pulling twelve hours of writing just to have money to either fill up my car or have food to eat. It began to take a toll on me mentally in ways I never imagined.

The self-doubt was strong and I had a hard time shaking it. Even with great friends like Kikyo, Brittany Wonder, and Stephanie Andujar reminding me of our past accomplishments, it wasn’t enough to shake me out of it.

If I am not able to create content, what good am I? That thought was heavy on my mind as I tried to make my way back into the workforce. The longer it took to get a job, the pressure mounted with the likelihood of self-funding a film looking slim. So the question was, what good am I period?

Things went from bad to worse during a job interview. The person (she clearly isn’t a wrestling fan) wondered how a contributor for a website wrestling website could possibly become a salesman.

I tried to sell her on it, but she wasn’t convinced about the connection of someone who basically has to sell his work on websites. Even as I made a  connection with the experience I have, she still wasn’t sold on me becoming a salesman (can you believe it?).

So I found myself in the same situation I was in months ago and it was getting old really fast. Some people disappeared when they heard about the dilemma and now I was looking to become successful not just to make a living, but to prove to people that I am worth something.

The plan at that point was to gain a job and self-fund it. That eventually became reality as I had an interview for a job that I really wanted and I eventually gained the job. The pandemic still going on, but I landed a job that has flexibility in hours and decent starting pay.

For the first time, it seemed like everything was coming into place right? Wrong! Things only got worse from there between the uncertainty of the pandemic, inconsistent hours, and witnessing high prices for basic necessities. All of that plus the price to make a film ranged from 5,000 to 10,000 dollars for all the short movies, even a five-minute film.

The price of everything sky-high from a writer and personal perspective along with an inconsistent paycheck almost put me back in the same situation I was in before. Not only did I not have enough money for it, but it looked like an unwinnable battle.

What did I do? I continue to write and focus on my other scripts while being content not jeopardizing my financial security. Even though I want my scripts to come to life, I know my limit.

Most people picture a screenwriter having a big home, multiple racehorses, and boats. I am a screenwriter who works a day job and faces the same battle of uncertainty as everyone else. I am a person who dares to chase after what I want and continue to push even with the uncertainty.

With all the bad and uncertainty that comes with the job of being a writer, I would do it all over again if I had the chance. Does that make me relentless and driven? Maybe crazy and a dreamer? The answer to both of those questions maybe yes, but I will be doing this in 2022 and beyond.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, whether I submit to a contest again, film, or a little bit of both with success. What I can guarantee is that I will keep pushing and I encourage the thousands of talented screenwriters around the world who find themselves in the same situation, don’t give up. If being a screenwriter was glamorous and easy as non-writers say it is, everyone would be doing it.

No matter how rough the road gets, always follow your dream and passion. Follow on Twitter @Writer4lifeJC for more blogs and updates.